Over-Intellectualizing: Thinking vs Feeling in Therapy
Do you ever catch yourself in your head about literally everything instead of just feeling your feelings? You might be overintellectualizing! Aka turning emotions into a mental problem instead of just letting yourself feel. Intellectualizing can be useful for problem solving, and is actually an important skill to help process emotions. However, when we overuse the skill it can become a tool to avoid our emotional experience. So now you're probably like, “Okay... what does that even mean? Or how do I know if I’m doing it?”. Well, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! Keep reading to get more info on what it looks like, signs to watch for, and how to go from emotional shutdown to actually feeling your feelings (yes, all of them).
Over-intellectualizing: The Breakdown
You’re probably thinking, “Okay wait… what does this actually mean?” Basically, instead of feeling your emotions, you’re stuck in your head trying to think through them. And while that might seem like it works in the moment, it can easily turn into a pattern. Instead of saying how you really feel, you end up bottling it all up. Sure, short-term? It can help you feel at ease and in control. But in the long-term it’s not so great. It starts impacting your life — like your relationships, your job, your mental and physical health.
So, why do people even do this? Here’s a few potential reasons:
It gives you a sense of control
It protects you from feeling too exposed or vulnerable
You’re super self-aware, maybe even too self-aware
You’ve experienced trauma
Signs You Might Be Intellectualizing Instead of Feeling
If you’re worried you might be an over-intellectualizer, here are some signs and sensations to look out for so you can move into healing mode:
Signs:
You keep repeating the same story or facts without getting to how it felt.
You dip out of therapy or avoid convos where you’d have to open up emotionally.
You know what you need to do to move through your pain, but struggle to actually do it
Same arguments, different day and no closure
You tend to shut down instead of expressing emotions like crying, sadness, anger, or grief.
Why Over-Analyzing Can Get in the Way of Healing?
Let’s break this down into 2 categories, Mental vs. Physical Health:
Mentally: When you’re constantly analyzing things, it can lead to anxiety, stress, and straight-up burnout. You might start feeling unmotivated, pulling away from friends and family, and avoiding therapy or other support. Before you know it, you're isolating yourself and feeling lonely.
Physically: Your body feels it too. This can show up as poor sleep, constant tension in your body, headaches, or even a weaker immune system. Basically, your body’s telling you, “Hey… something’s up!”
Both: Together, this can cause you to withdraw from social activities, become more irritable, feel less energy, etc. These types of things can impact your day-to-day life, impact overall happiness, and prevent you from taking some much-needed self-care time.
Remember, even though it may be challenging, there are lots of ways to start shifting from overintellectualizing to feeling your feelings (keep reading), so you feel happier and healthier!
How to Shift from Intellectualizing to Feeling in Therapy?
Sometimes, it can be hard to know where to start. We get that, so we’ve compiled a list of a few suggestions that might help you tackle this:
Talk it out: Start saying how you actually feel — even if it’s just to yourself in the mirror. Voicing your emotions makes them real, and that’s where healing starts.
Mindfulness: When your brain’s doing the most, try noticing the sensations you might be feeling in your body - it can help you start to identify what you might be feeling. If you’re unsure what sensation words might look like, some examples are:
Chest tightness
Pit/Butterflies in your stomach
Tension in your neck and shoulders
Pins/needles in your hands, feet, or all over your body
Racing heart/heart palpitations
Restlessness or fidgeting
Therapy: It isn’t just for when things are falling apart. It’s a space to learn how to feel your feelings, set boundaries, and stop overthinking every little thing. At TCC, if you are in Canada, we have a diverse team of therapists who can support!
Therapy Approaches for Over-Intellectualizers
If you are someone who tends to struggle to actually feel stuff, these therapy styles are some of TCC’s recommendations and are approaches you may want to check out:
Somatic Therapy: A bottom-up approach that helps you tune into your body instead of just your thoughts. Examples include breathwork, grounding, movement, and body scans. It’s all about feeling where emotion lives in your body.
Internal Family Systems (IFS): This “parts work” therapy helps you get to know the different versions of you — like your inner overthinker, your anxious self, or the part that’s just trying to stay safe. It helps break down what’s actually going on beneath the surface.
Visual/Expressive Arts Therapy: Not a fan of talking it all out? Say less. These therapy approaches let you process emotions through art, music, movement, or writing — perfect for the creative.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): It works by using guided eye movements, tapping or sound to help the brain reprocess painful memories, reducing their emotional impact.EMDR is relevant because it offers a quicker and effective alternative to traditional talk therapy, helping people feel calmer and more in control without erasing their memories.
ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy): ART uses techniques like guided visualization and eye movements to reprocess traumatic or upsetting memories, helping individuals change their emotional responses to those experiences. In practice, ART involves the therapist guiding you through a series of visualizations and using eye movements to help reframe memories, reducing their emotional intensity. Compared to EMDR, ART is more structured, faster, and image-focused.
TLDR - Too Long Didn’t Read
- Overintellectualizing means you are in your head rather than feeling your feelings!
- Intellectualizing itself isn’t bad, it’s an important skill to process experiences - it’s just the overuse and overreliance we want to stay away from.
- Over time, when bottled up, this can affect your mental and physical health which prevents you from feeling happy and healthy.
- Talking it out, mindfulness practices, and therapy are just a few ways to help!
- Approaches like somatic therapy, IFS, and art therapy can be useful!
Conclusion:
If you’re stuck in overintellectualizing mode 24/7, just know you’re probably just doing what your brain thinks is safest. But healing starts when you stop trying to logic your way through life and start letting yourself feel it.
Whether it’s through therapy, journaling, movement, or just saying “I feel sad” out loud for once — every little step counts. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Just start where you are, feel what you feel, and keep going. You got this!
References:
Rosenbloom, A. (n.d.). IFS therapy for Intellectualizers. Ariel Rosenbloom Therapy. https://www.arielrosenbloomlcsw.com/blog/ifs-therapy-for-intellectualizers
Sabler, M. von. (n.d.). What does it mean to intellectualize your feelings. MVS Psychology Group. https://www.mvspsychology.com.au/what-does-it-mean-to-intellectualize-your-feelings/
Cara, J. (2024, June 14). Therapy for Intellectualizers and overthinkers. Inner Wisdom Seattle-Coaching and Counseling. https://innerwisdomseattle.com/2024/06/14/therapy-for-intellectualizers-and-overthinkers/
Psychology Today Staff. (n.d.). Intellectualization. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/intellectualization
Goodman, W. (2021, October 14). Signs you’re intellectualizing instead of feeling your feelings - the collaborative counseling center - therapy online in Florida. The Collaborative Counseling Center. https://www.collabcounseling.com/blog/signs-youre-intellectualizing-instead-of-feeling-your-feelings
