Why Do I Feel So Attached to My Therapist (And Is It Normal?) 

Inner InsightsConnection Chronicles
Written By Maryna Chernomorets
why do I feel attached to my therapist

When you first start therapy, you might think it’s all about learning coping skills or talking through your worries. However, sometimes you might find yourself thinking about your therapist between sessions, feeling deeply comforted by their words, and maybe even missing them when the session ends. These are all signs that you’re developing an attachment to your therapist.  

If you’ve ever caught yourself wondering why you feel this way, you’re not alone. Feeling attached to your therapist is one of the most common (and most misunderstood) parts of therapy. It’s important to note that it’s not about romantic attraction. Rather, it’s about connection, trust, and the natural human response to being understood in a safe space. 

What It Means to Feel Attached to Your Therapist?

Therapy is one of the few relationships where you’re fully seen and heard without judgment. For many people, that kind of emotional safety can be rare. Over time, you might start to look forward to sessions as a place where you can breathe and be real. You might notice you replay things your therapist said or find yourself wanting to share new moments with them first. 

Here are a few more signs: 

  • Wanting their approval: Caring a bit more than usual about what they think of you, or  
    “wanting to do therapy right.” 

  • Feeling sensitive to changes: If they reschedule, go on vacation, or end a session early, it can feel uncomfortable. 

  • Wishing sessions were longer: Wishing you could check in outside of therapy, text them, or have more access. 

  • Feeling embarrassed about your attachment: Often thinking “why do I care this much? I barely know them outside of the office.” 

  • Feeling protective or loyal: Defending them in your mind, trusting them deeply, or not wanting to start over with someone else. 

  • Missing them between sessions: This can happen quietly, like noticing the gap between sessions more than expected. 

  • Feeling safer in the therapy room than anywhere else: The room becomes associated with calm, presence, and safety. 

  • Feeling stronger emotions towards them: Sometimes positive (warmth, gratitude, or admiration) or sometimes uncomfortable (fear they’ll leave, fear of disappointing them, or frustration when they challenge you). 

These are all signs of a developing attachment, which is the kind that often forms when someone consistently listens and responds with care. Far from being “too dependent,” this attachment reflects that your nervous system recognizes safety. It’s saying, “this is a person I can trust.” 

Why You May Feel Attached to Your Therapist?

Psychologists understand this connection through something called attachment theory. This is the idea that our early relationships shape how we connect with others later in life. If you grew up in an environment where care and emotional presence were inconsistent, therapy can offer something powerfully different: a steady, reliable connection. Your therapist listens, remembers details about your life, responds calmly, and stays regulated. If you lack this level of consistent attention outside of therapy, your brain can label your therapist as a “safe person” and attach to them. That can feel both comforting and unfamiliar at the same time. 

i feel attached to my therapist

Part of what’s happening in therapy is called transference, which is where you unconsciously project feelings and expectations from past relationships onto your therapist. You might experience them as nurturing like a parent, supportive like a mentor, or simply as someone who finally “gets” you. This can naturally make your nervous system bond to your therapist – or anyone else who helps you regulate your emotions – which can be a guiding force in developing an attachment to them. While this can feel confusing, it is useful in helping you understand how you relate to people outside of therapy. More specifically, it can shed light on what closeness, trust, and vulnerability feel like for you. If you’re sharing things that you don’t normally share with others, exploring trauma, and expressing your fears in therapy, you can build a stronger connection due to being so vulnerable (even in professional relationships). 

The structure of therapy also plays a huge role. Your therapist shows up at the same time each week, remembers details about your life, and holds space for your emotions. They don’t ghost, judge, punish, or emotionally react the way your family or partners might. That consistency can feel deeply grounding, especially if you’ve rarely had it. In some ways, the attachment you feel is your mind and body’s way of saying “this is what secure connection feels like.”

How Therapists See the Therapist–Client Attachment?

Many people worry their therapist will think they’re crossing a line if they bring up these feelings. But don’t worry, most therapists see client attachment as a positive and, sometimes, even an essential part of the healing process! A strong therapeutic bond (AKA the “therapeutic alliance”) is one of the best predictors of progress in therapy. 

When you share that you feel attached or dependent, your therapist isn’t judging you. Instead, they’re usually curious about what the attachment tells you about your needs, fears, and experiences with closeness. Talking about it can lead to some of the most powerful moments in therapy because it allows you to practice new ways of relating in real time, in a safe environment. 

Healthy boundaries are also part of what makes therapy work. They protect the space so that you can explore freely without worrying about the therapist’s needs or reactions. These boundaries don’t make the connection less real. They make it safe enough to be healing. 

How to Talk About Your Attachment With Your Therapist?

Bringing up your attachment might feel awkward, but it’s more common than you might think. You might start by saying something like, “I’ve noticed I think about our sessions a lot,” or “I feel close to you in a way that surprises me.” A good therapist will welcome that honesty. 

These conversations often help you connect the dots between what’s happening in therapy and how you form relationships elsewhere. Over time, the goal isn’t to erase the attachment but to understand it and to use it as a guide for building more secure and trusting connections in your everyday life.

With that said, it is important to exercise caution in these situations. While attachments to therapists are common, always remember to respect the personal boundaries of yourself as well as those of your therapist.  While feeling connected to your therapist is a normal and important part of healing, sometimes the attachment can become too intense in a way that starts getting in the way of therapy. The most helpful step is to talk about it directly with your therapist. They won’t be surprised — this happens more often than people think. Together, you can explore where the attachment is coming from, strengthen your internal sense of safety, and set supportive boundaries so the therapeutic relationship continues to help you grow rather than overwhelm you.

TLDR 

Feeling attached to your therapist is normal and common. It’s often a sign of safety, trust, and the emotional healing that comes with being truly seen. Exploring those feelings can deepen your work in therapy and help you form stronger, more balanced connections beyond it. 

Sometimes that attachment can grow so strong that it begins to interfere with your work in therapy. If you notice this happening, the best thing you can do is bring it up openly with your therapist. Together, you can explore what’s driving those feelings, build more internal safety, and create supportive boundaries so the relationship remains grounding rather than overwhelming.

Final Thoughts 

Therapy isn’t just about learning coping skills. It’s also about healing through connection. When you start to feel attached to your therapist, it usually means you’re allowing yourself to experience trust in a new way (which is growth!!). 

So rather than judging yourself for caring, consider it a sign that your emotional world is opening up. So, talk about it and explore it. Let it teach you what safe, secure connections can feel like. 

You’re not too attached. You’re human. And that’s exactly where the true healing begins. 

References 

Maryna Chernomorets
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