The Gottman Method in Calgary

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Research-based approach to Couples Therapy

What is The Gottman Method in Couples Therapy?

The Gottman Method is a research-based approach to couples therapy that helps partners improve communication, increase intimacy, and manage conflict in healthy ways. Created by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, it’s grounded in over 40 years of scientific research studying what makes relationships work.

This method helps couples understand both their strengths and the patterns that can lead to disconnection or tension. Rather than focusing only on arguments or surface-level communication, the Gottman Method looks at the deeper emotional dynamics that shape how partners relate to one another.

In therapy, couples begin with an assessment process to identify what’s working well and what’s causing distress. From there, the therapist helps guide partners through practical tools that strengthen friendship, build emotional connection, and create more positive interactions. The Gottman Method also teaches couples how to manage conflict in a way that feels respectful and productive instead of reactive or hurtful.

An important part of this approach is learning to replace harmful behaviours (known as the “Four Horsemen”: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) with healthy alternatives like gentle communication, appreciation, and taking responsibility. Over time, couples can develop stronger trust, understanding, and a renewed sense of partnership.

If you’re feeling disconnected, caught in the same arguments, or unsure how to repair after conflict, the Gottman Method can help you rebuild closeness and confidence in your relationship.

What Issues Can the Gottman Method Help With?

  • Ongoing conflict or difficulty communicating

  • Emotional disconnection or loss of intimacy

  • Rebuilding trust after a betrayal or rupture

  • Differences around parenting, money, or values

  • Recovering from resentment or long-term hurt

  • Strengthening an already healthy relationship

  • Building long-term resilience and shared meaning

Too Long, Didn’t Read:

The Gottman Method helps couples understand their relationship patterns, manage conflict more effectively, and build stronger emotional connection. It’s practical, evidence-based, and focused on creating lasting changes that support a healthy partnership.

Frequently Asked Questions:

  • It’s one of the most research-backed approaches, based on decades of studying real couples. It focuses on friendship, managing conflict, and building shared purpose instead of only teaching communication skills or focusing on individual emotions.

  • Therapy usually begins with an in-depth assessment where both partners share their experiences and relationship history. Afterwards, sessions focus on learning new skills to handle conflict, improve communication, and strengthen emotional connection.

  • No. Many couples use this approach to maintain or enhance a strong relationship. It’s just as helpful for prevention and growth as it is for repair and recovery.

  • Each couple’s journey is different, but many begin to see improvement within several sessions. The pace depends on your specific needs and goals.

Our Gottman Couples Therapist in Calgary and Virtually